Emergency Procedures for Janes Cognitive Function

Section 3: Mental Tornado

When a mental tornado strikes, immediately report to the nearest safe room (preferably a closet or a well-ventilated area).

Put on your thinking hat and engage emergency thinking protocols. This may involve rapid-fire calculations, complex problem-solving, and/or spontaneous bursts of creativity.

For extreme cases, deploy backup brainpower by contacting the Janes Cognitive Function Hotline: 1-800-GET-SMART.

Do not attempt to engage in small talk or trivial conversation during the crisis. Stay focused and maintain situational awareness.

For more information on mental tornado response and prevention, visit our Mindfulness Maintenance Page.

And remember, in the face of a mental tornado, it's every man for himself. Or herself. Or whatever gender you identify as.

Additional Resources

Disclaimer

By accessing this page, you acknowledge that you are a highly functioning individual with a strong mental core.

Do not attempt to use this information for nefarious purposes or to gain an unfair competitive edge.